Yes, more and more they are saying we adults may well carry over the affects. I’m positive that I’ve had AD / HD for my life time, and have passed it down in my genes to Sarah and Victoria. This article
has a lot of interesting points to it. I’ll just start by saying that I can recall clearly, at a private school, being told I wasn’t trying hard enough, and didn’t apply myself well enough. I can remember on my report card the words “Debbie has let us down rather badly on more than a few occasions. Now, to pinpoint some of the article.
AD/HD in adults can significantly affect their relationships with others, particularly a partner, family, friends and work colleagues. They may see the adult with AD/HD as unreliable, or become frustrated trying to understand or help. Research has found that the most common behaviours that have a negative impact on relations are:
- doesn’t remember being told things
- saying things without thinking
- “zoning out” in conversations
- problems dealing with frustration
- trouble getting started on a task
- underestimating time needed to complete a task
- leaving a mess and being disorganized
- forgetting special dates, meetings or always being late
- not finishing a project.18
For both members of a relationship, it is important to recognize these behaviours. That’s why any education about AD/HD needs to include the family and friends. Several interventions or strategies are available to deal with these difficulties. For example, if saying something without thinking is a problem, the adult with AD/HD should try to be aware of how his or her verbal impulsivity can make other people feel uncomfortable. People with AD/HD often enjoy vigorous conversation as a source of stimulation. But they should understand that others may not share this enjoyment and know how to tone down the argument and move onto another topic.19
Similar strategies are available for the other problems. Working with a counsellor or using self-help techniques can help adults with AD/HD improve their relationships.
AD/HD with Work or Studies
If you have AD/HD but didn’t know it for a long time, you may have been misunderstood at work, at university or college. Your behaviour—whether you are restless, impulsive, disorganized or easily distracted—can be seen as being purposefully disruptive and unreliable. People with AD/HD may be seen to be unmotivated, lazy, self-centred or even slow learners. AD/HD may lead to a lifetime of underachievement, falling short of goals at work and complicating relationships with co-workers. Since AD/HD symptoms are usually not visible, co-workers may also have difficulty understanding and accepting the limitations they create.
A poor person–job match may also exist. Sometimes, a person needs to choose a place of employment or type of work that makes the best use of particular strong points and minimizes weaknesses. At times, success may be achieved with the help of the employer by disclosing your AD/HD in order to receive job accommodations. These must be tailored to meet the person’s specific needs. Some examples of accommodations in the workplace include extra clerical support, access to audio and video equipment, job restructuring, reassignment to a different position that better matches strengths, modified work schedules, computer with reader and voice-activated software, and filing systems that meet your needs.
I know that my husband says I never finish very much at home, in terms of “jobs”. I’ve never been good at school or work, working under a deadline. But when I do get a task done, I feel a great sense of accomplishment.
Hopefully, in continuing to educate myself about it, I’ll be able to help Sarah out. Maybe. Let’s hope for the best.
Listening to Neil Young and “Don’t Need More Lies”. Yeah right, George. We don’t.