Toria’s Thoughts

To be without some of the things we want, is to live life to the fullest possible amount.

Where am I? 30, 04, 12

Filed under: Uncategorized — toriauru @ 1:04

I’m usually posting over on my bipolar blog here Bipolar and Asperger’s

So, follow me over there and have a read 🙂



26, 02, 08

Filed under: Uncategorized — toriauru @ 4:57

Calm cat


Pondering the year past 30, 12, 06

Filed under: Uncategorized — toriauru @ 4:18

Well, as I sit and nurse the sprained ankle I got yesterday, I’m pondering the last year.  What I’ve done, learned, and discovered about myself.  How I’ve grown in some areas, and forgotten about others.  Including exercise, sadly.  Well, organized exercise I mean.  But I was thinking on failed friendships, and things said, in the heat of the moment of anger.  How, maybe somebody who takes their life just forgets that there are positives.  Maybe this does happen overwhelmingly, to them.  I’m thinking in particular of Paul Hester, the Crowded House, and Split Enz drummer who took his life.  Why?  Did it all just overwhelm him, you wonder?  Did he find it all too much to deal with?  Did he feel there was no one to turn to any more?  You can’t help but wonder how he felt.  I don’t feel like that, but I can empathize with someone who feels that low and that bad.  I’ve been there, and felt that, sadly.

But 2007 is going to be a good year, I know.  I have faith it will be.  Let’s hope I’m right.


Holiday CD’s 17, 12, 06

Filed under: Uncategorized — toriauru @ 8:06

Do you ever find that you have way too many Holiday CD’s and never get a chance to listen to them all?  LOL, that’s my problem.  At last count I’ve got 16 different ones.  Harry Connick, Sarah McLachlan’s new one Wintersong, Celine Dion’s “These are Special Times”, and Jewel’s “A Holiday Collection” are all favourites.  But I’ve got Bing Crosby singing “White Christmas”, a “Celtic Christmas”, Rosie O’Donnell’s CD.  Etc. Etc.  Way too many.  Anyways, I’ve been making a holiday playlist and have shuffled it.  That’s fun to do.  Yes, I do prefer to have CD’s to rip onto my computer.  Not a big deal then.

Today was the Christmas pageant at my church.  The kids were so cute.  It was great to see them.  Sarah was a cute “Mary” holding the baby doll that was Jesus.  Victoria was a darling little angel, along with the others.  SOOOOO cute up at the front of the church.

Only 1 week left before Christmas.  YAY!


A passage from Philippians 2 16, 12, 06

Filed under: Uncategorized — toriauru @ 8:09

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

If each of us could live to that standard we’d be doing all of the other people in our lives a great deal of good.  I guess this is what a Christian is supposed to do.  To strive to follow the word set down.  See, I’m still learning.  Not there yet.  But I’m getting there, and understanding more, and opening my heart more.

I forgive all of those who’ve hurt me, in some way.  In saying that I want to forget the pain, move past it, and heal.  It’s time.


Why wait for sex until after marriage?

Filed under: Uncategorized — toriauru @ 2:37

Yeah, a SEX topic, for you.  It’s not gross, but just thoughts…

For those who’ve never had sex, here are my reasons why to wait.  Of course, YMMV, these are only my thoughts, of course.  Wait because it’s special.  It’s an incredible gift to lie there afterwards with this person you love, and say softly, “you’re my first, my only one, and I love you”.  I can just see myself saying that, if only I could have.  I won’t go into why I can’t.  But the emotion is so there, in the dream I have.  The upswelling of tears right there, at the brink, and the satisfaction right there, too.   Think about what it’s like for a guy.  He’s just said, in physical terms, “I’m a man, and I’ve shown that”.  For a woman, with the right set of emotions of love, and trust, and desire, she’s opened herself in the broadest sense a woman can.  You can’t be more open than that.

Yes, sex is so open these days with birth control, and easy access.  It’s portrayed as an easy attitude to it in the movies, and on television.  But in the bedroom, there is a trust there.  As you lie there, and your lips meet, there is a reaffirmation of the bond, beyond your comprehension, that continues when you make love to the same person year after year.  How does it not get boring?  Because it’s always good, if you work at it.  If you try fun things like new positions.  Yeah, there are a lot of variations, believe me….. LOL

But seriously, don’t believe the movies.  They aren’t real.  Think of a book turned into a movie.  How much more detail does the book have than the movie?  A lot, generally.  So much more of the back story is told in the book.  It’s like that with sex between two people who love each other.  There’s a history there that you draw on.  Every time you make love it’s just building on that.

So, a quickie, that’s meaningless has no history.  It’s got no real meaning to it.  That is why it’s empty calories, like junky fast-food meals.  It’s sex yes.  But satisfying?  Not at all.  Whereas making love, which I’m saying is a sub-set of sex, is a gourmet meal, with all the stops.  It can be a quick gourmet meal, or one with many courses.  But it satisfies that deep hunger inside you to feel filled up if you’re a woman.  Yes, as I said to my husband, it does fill me up, both literally, and figuratively.  He doesn’t understand that feeling at all, but then again I don’t completely understand the affirmation of his manhood every time, either.  But we can appreciate it.  Oh, how we can appreciate it *wink*


New species under the ice 12, 12, 06

Filed under: Uncategorized — toriauru @ 11:16

Here is proof that I knew was true.  We don’t even know how many species are under the ice of the Antarctic.  Yeah, isn’t that the truth.  So many animals and plants, and species of things that we know nothing about, and don’t even know exist!  Think about how much of our blue planet is covered in water.  That’s about 80%.  Then extrapolate from there.  It’s mind boggling how much we DON’T know.  Here is an article from the Globe and Mail Canada.

In the dark ocean beneath the Antarctic ice, researchers have found scores of species they’ve never seen before, including strange jellyfish and other gelatinous organisms that thrive without light.

It is too early to say exactly how many new species were discovered in the Antarctic, many in the Weddell Sea, where ice crushed the ship of Antarctic explorer Ernest Shackleton in 1915.

The scientists saw more strange creatures than familiar ones, says Ron O’Dor, an expert in octopuses and squid from Halifax’s Dalhousie University and the chief scientist in charge of producing the first marine life census of the planet by 2010.

I hope that they find more good news despite the fact that 90% of species seem to have declined.  That’s a sad number to hear.